Friday, June 08, 2007

On People as Flowers in a Garden: Each has their own beauty

Cameron devotes a post to to a lovely bit of philosophizing about friendship and in the process mentions something told to her by a Baha'i friend. -gw

By a fortunate quirk of happily-aligning schedules, ed_ify was able to meet me for what was planned to be coffee, but turned into lunch, at our previously-favourite west end diner. (We both adore the Original Flava greasy-spoon vibe and the friendly service, but have become disenchanted with the rising prices and not-as-good food. Hardly a tragedy in a city as replete with diners as my much-loved T-Dot.)

He's going away for work on the weekend. Won't see him 'til mid-July. Le sigh. Sometimes I think I miss him as much as his wife does, albeit in a very different way.

It's a funny thing, how we met all those years ago- more than 20- and became such excellent friends. Living proof that men and women really can have completely intimate and yet utterly Platonic relationships.

With him I am reminded of the very good definition I once saw: "a friend is someone with whom one discusses important things."

And I am also reminded that just because a person might share one's tastes, hobbies, provenance, professional and/or academic background, and possibly even physiological quirks, there's no guarantee that this indicates a friendship-worthy compatibility. No, not at all. All these little coincidences add up to nothing.

To be friends, good friends, what's important is character. Who you are at the core. General demeanour, outlook on the world. And even in that, there's wiggle room. No online matchmaker would ever have put Rob and I together, we're so different. I may never in this life pick up the game of poker, and he would rather go to the dentist than the opera, and yet still we're very happy together. We're alike in the ways that really matter.

A Baha'i once told me that all the world's people are as flowers in an endless garden. And while everyone may have their own beauty, and I may in theory bless you every one, that doesn't mean that I have to like everyone, nor expect them to like me. Courtesy, but of course. Invitation to my table, perhaps not.

And that's perfectly okay.

Cameron (artistatlarge) wrote,@ 2007-06-06 16:22:00, "on being friends," Artist at Large
{Re-posted with permission}

1 comment:

Karridine said...

What a pleasure to find you! I'm bookmarking this and blogrolling you at

Do, indeed, courteously love all the flowers, but I only invite a few to my table...

Keep up the good work!