Saturday, December 19, 2009

On Coming to Belief: My life is no longer divided into two parts that cannot be reconciled

This is one of those extraordinarily focused Baha'i blogs that explores its topics with great depth. It's posts pack an emotional wallop. -gw

When I was back in China, though able to develop the intellectual part of me (my mind), I could not find anything that was beautiful enough, perfect enough and noble enough for me to devote my whole heart to it. And at my early phase of religious experience, I found the beauty and the perfection in the teachings of Christ that I could devote my heart for, but I have to try hard to suppress my mind not to question anything I learned. I dreaded the moment when I shall one day come face to face to my Lord and have to confess that I could not devote all my heart to His beauty because my mind was in the way. Now I am free from all these worries. I can freely exercise my rational capacity to seek truth and add the truth to the beauty that I can love wholeheartedly. Truth must be beautiful and beauty cannot be false. Everything becomes one and I become whole. My life is no longer divided into two parts that can not be reconciled, and my mind and my heart no longer have to play game against each other. If one day I shall come and submit myself at that Holy Threshold, I can unreservedly with all my heart, all my mind and all my being say to my Lord: "I believed."

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