On Coping with Terminal Illness: Mara and her Maman

Mara and her mother, photo by Mulan, uploaded on July 27, 2005 onto Mara's flickr site, lafeministe

Here is the beginning of a post by Mara, a long-time Baha'i blogger from a blogging family, on the difficult subject of managing a terminal illness of a family member, in her case her mother's cancer. Be sure to click over to read the entire post, and then follow her suggestion to read her mother's linked post with comments of family and friends. -gw

Several of my friends have remarked that my frankness about my mother's terminal illness is somewhat incomprehensible - especially for those who have never lost a parent.

First of all, it is beyond describing. It is excrutiatingly difficult and painful. I want my mother to live. That said, there are guiding lights for me.

1. The Baha'i Faith, first and foremost. This past year, struggling with her cancer, has taught me what true reliance on God is. It ain't easy, that's for sure, but it has allowed me to let go of the control I so strongly craved and was desolate without. I think this is a large part of the struggle over losing a loved one.

2. Prayer. I see so much new meaning in prayer now. Turns of phrases such as "Make Thy beauty to be my food", which I always understood to be a request for detachment from things on this realm - now I read it as a request for my mother when she moves on to the next world. Not that either interpretation is invalid, but it is a new understanding of the possibilities of the power of the prayer.

Mara, "Coping with Terminal Illness," Everything, Nothing, and I'm a Middle Child:
Commentary on my life in Israel, my life in general and my family in specific

{Re-posted with permission}