On Remembering Mana: Ashley Discovers the Power of the Human Heart
I have made death a messenger of joy to thee. Wherefore dost thou grieve? I made the light to shed on thee its splendour. Why dost thou veil thyself ... -- The Baha'i Writings
The death of a young person is so unexpected. Ashley has kindly permitted me to draw from her LiveJournal entries that tell of the deep impact the death of an Iranian Baha'i co-worker had upon her. -gw
Ashley (melodicharmony) wrote @ 2006-08-13 16:42:00
...after work, I did some research trying to figure out what... they were saying in the funeral prayers yesterday. And finally I figured out that they weren't of the Islam faith. They are Baha'is. I became more and more understanding of why they are refugees. Baha'is have been persecuted and killed in Iran for years, executed under false charges, not allowed to attend universities or hold office. And it's gotten worse just in the past decade. No wonder they got out. It made me so sad and so insanely angry at the same time.
Especially because I'm realizing more and more that this family, they really actually followed their faith, in the sense that they all had really good hearts. It's so rare to actually know REALLY good people. You know? Everyone has a trick up their sleeve- I have a thousand. But these people are just really good people, all of them.
I'm sort of hoping I can talk to Hooman about it tomorrow. I think I'm going to write it down and ask him how to pronounce it and explain how I found it and maybe he'll elaborate without me getting all intrusive. It's difficult to explain why I'm so fascinated. I guess it's because I find myself strangely tied, emotionally wrapped up in this family. Even before Mana died I was really wrapped up in them. I didn't want to leave them because I guess I sort of felt like I was home around them. That is very, very difficult to explain, considering how much I fight with my boss and how little I say to him most of the time. A part of me thinks, and in reality hopes, that it's at least sort of a mutual feeling. Every time I remember Hooman standing across that room calling my name, I think that it's possible I've become important to the family, but I wish I could actually be with them, eat dinner with them, learn their customs, try to understand them, see the father in the hospital, I don't know why, this is all so insane, I don't even know these people, I'm just employed to them.
But that's just how I feel. I don't know how I'm going to leave them, and I have no excuse to send cards, they don't celebrate Christmas, and I want to keep in touch, but I fear that I won't be able to, and these incredible people, Hooman, his wife, his sister, Farhod, the father, everyone, will just be gone from my life, and I don't know when I'll ever be able to come across a pure heart like that again. Everything is corrupt, including myself, and strangely I desire more than anything to surround myself in something good.
The impact Mana and her family had on Ashley is described in the following post. -gw
The death of a young person is so unexpected. Ashley has kindly permitted me to draw from her LiveJournal entries that tell of the deep impact the death of an Iranian Baha'i co-worker had upon her. -gw
Ashley (melodicharmony) wrote @ 2006-08-13 16:42:00...after work, I did some research trying to figure out what... they were saying in the funeral prayers yesterday. And finally I figured out that they weren't of the Islam faith. They are Baha'is. I became more and more understanding of why they are refugees. Baha'is have been persecuted and killed in Iran for years, executed under false charges, not allowed to attend universities or hold office. And it's gotten worse just in the past decade. No wonder they got out. It made me so sad and so insanely angry at the same time.
Especially because I'm realizing more and more that this family, they really actually followed their faith, in the sense that they all had really good hearts. It's so rare to actually know REALLY good people. You know? Everyone has a trick up their sleeve- I have a thousand. But these people are just really good people, all of them.
I'm sort of hoping I can talk to Hooman about it tomorrow. I think I'm going to write it down and ask him how to pronounce it and explain how I found it and maybe he'll elaborate without me getting all intrusive. It's difficult to explain why I'm so fascinated. I guess it's because I find myself strangely tied, emotionally wrapped up in this family. Even before Mana died I was really wrapped up in them. I didn't want to leave them because I guess I sort of felt like I was home around them. That is very, very difficult to explain, considering how much I fight with my boss and how little I say to him most of the time. A part of me thinks, and in reality hopes, that it's at least sort of a mutual feeling. Every time I remember Hooman standing across that room calling my name, I think that it's possible I've become important to the family, but I wish I could actually be with them, eat dinner with them, learn their customs, try to understand them, see the father in the hospital, I don't know why, this is all so insane, I don't even know these people, I'm just employed to them.
But that's just how I feel. I don't know how I'm going to leave them, and I have no excuse to send cards, they don't celebrate Christmas, and I want to keep in touch, but I fear that I won't be able to, and these incredible people, Hooman, his wife, his sister, Farhod, the father, everyone, will just be gone from my life, and I don't know when I'll ever be able to come across a pure heart like that again. Everything is corrupt, including myself, and strangely I desire more than anything to surround myself in something good.
The impact Mana and her family had on Ashley is described in the following post. -gw
Ashley (melodicharmony) wrote,@ 2006-08-08 19:28:00
Anyone who knows me probably knows that death is my greatest fear. So hopefully everyone will be understanding over the next couple weeks as I am dealing with a shocking death.I'm going through this third entry today to let everyone know in advance what's going on so that if I act irrational or don't answer phone calls or anything like that, you'll know why. Our headwaitress, Mana, who has become a good friend of mine this summer, died suddenly this morning. She was on her way to work at about 4:30 AM and her car lost control for reasons unknown, striking a tree, launching her from the car, killing her. She is the sister of the manager and the owner at this family run restaurant. The father, our former dishwasher, is in serious condition for other medical reasons, so my boss is dealing with an overload of emotional strife, but has decided to keep the restaurant open.
Accordingly, I'll be taking most or all of Mana's hours, which means I'll often be opening the restaurant and working seven days a week until I go back to school. Tomorrow I'll be there bright and early, trying to hold a smile as I deliver the news countless times over to each of her regulars.As for me, maybe this will sink in tomorrow, maybe the next day. I'm still in shock, and I slept the majority of the day. My boss sounds like he has been crying for hours. We're all in a sort of death-lull, trying to make this real... or make it a dream.
May 9, 2006 by fouramjava
All I will say in regards to Mana is that... she was the type of girl that you meet and immediately know has a pure heart. She was nieve, optimistic, had an amazing sense of humor, and her whole life ahead of her. She had just finished high school and was going to be heading to college this fall. We were very close, the two of us, and worked together incredibly well, and between all our joking we kept the customers constantly smiling. The last side joke we had is that we love to hate each other and love to love each other. The last time I saw her she had come into work just to visit, she was all dressed up, and she gave me a big smile. I'll miss her, and I'll grieve over this death more than others, because it is quite possibly the most unfair and tragic death I'll ever have to deal with.There will probably be many more entries in this somber tone written over the next few days or weeks as I come to terms with all of this. But for now, the most I can do is set my alarm clock for 4, and go back to bed, with my hand grasping my wrist, counting each heart beat until I fall asleep.
Here are Ashley's conclusion about how attending the Baha'i funeral for Mana affected her. -gw
Today I discovered the power of the human heart, what it can do to the body, to the mind, and I never want to forget it, just as I never want to forget Mana. May she rest in peace.
Ashley (melodicharmony), oh, · look · at · how · she · listens, LiveJournal
{Re-posted with permission}
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Windham teen killed in one-car accidentMana Yazdanpanah lost control of her 2001 Daewoo while driving east on Route 115 around 4:30 am, according to Windham police. The car crossed the center ...pressherald.mainetoday.com/news/local/060809crash.shtml - 30k
MaineToday.com Portland Press Herald NewsWindham teen killed in one-car accident Mana Yazdanpanah was on her way to work when she lost control of her car. Staff photo by Jack Milton ...pressherald.mainetoday.com/news/index2.html - 36k
Portland Press Herald/Maine Sunday Telegram ObituariesYAZDANPANAH, MANA - 17, of Windham, in Windham, Aug. 8, 2006. Graveside service 4 pm, Saturday, Aug. 12, at Arlington Cemetery, Route 302 in North Windham. ...www.legacy.com/mainetoday-pressherald/Obituaries
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