On Looking Toward the Good: Trying to punish failure with criticism doesn't work
People don’t behave badly because they lack information about their shortcomings. They behave badly because they’ve fallen into patterns of destructive behavior from which they’re unable to escape.
Human behavior flows from hidden springs and calls for constant and crafty prodding more than blunt hectoring. The way to get someone out of a negative cascade is not with a ferocious e-mail trying to attack their bad behavior. It’s to go on offense and try to maximize some alternative good behavior. There’s a trove of research suggesting that it’s best to tackle negative behaviors obliquely, by redirecting attention toward different, positive ones. ...
Lure people toward success with the promise of admiration instead of trying to punish failure with criticism. Positive rewards are more powerful.
Great article by David Brooks of the New York Times. He covers politics where people hit each other over the head with their words all the time. But he argues, correctly, that change in people comes not through tirade and chastisement. -gw
Abdu’l-Bahá tells us:— |
To be silent concerning the faults of others, to pray for them, and to help them, through kindness, to correct their faults.To look always at the good and not at the bad. If a man has ten good qualities and one bad one, to look at the ten and forget the one; and if a man has ten bad qualities and one good one, to look at the one and forget the ten.In Baha'u'llah and the New Era |
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