Wednesday, December 23, 2009

On Changing Thoughts, Changing Feelings: CBT, Cognitive Baha'i Therapy

I am so sorry to hear you are feeling so isolated and that you are hurting. It's good that you are reaching out ot us, we'll help you along today Pain does have a way of making us pessimistic, it tugs at our courage and makes it difficult to see light at the end of the tunnel. But whether we see it or not it there, so hang in there! ...
I realized just a few years back that I did not have to go to a family gatherings where I did not want to be. I look inwards and accepted my limits, and that unburdened me so much. I did not have to be mean about it, or defensive about it, and would just say that I was not up to it and that we would see each other some other time. And when I felt better and stronger, I would be able to see them. Just giving myself that option gave me my power back, one of those boundaries that I have I such difficulties establishing ... We are free and wise and empowered and we can make our own decisions about who we will allow close to us. We should not have people close to us who don't care about hurting us, right?

The other side of that though is that I also realized that I was projecting unto them things that were not theirs to bear. My own lack of self-esteem was wispering falsehoods in my head, voices from the past, and I could not discern it from reality, so that I was attributing to them what was in fact my own voice. Once I made the distinction I realized that some of what I though was in fact falsehood. They do love me, with all my faults, and they want what is best for me.

I realize that is not true for everyone, some families are very hurtful ... still, it is often our own desperate thinking that amplifies the negative feelings. What types of thoughts give you hope? Do you have readings around you that could elevate your spirit? There are many online that you could tap into... The word of God is very powerful on the soul and nourishes the spirit, and it comes in so many religious forms... Here are a couple that I find very comforting to the heart... from Baha'i writtings...

Thy heart is My home; sanctify it for My descent. Thy spirit is My place of revelation; cleanse it for My manifestation.

With the joyful tidings of light I hail thee: rejoice! To the court of holiness I summon thee; abide therein that thou mayest live in peace for evermore.

Hang in there!! Tomorrow is another day and we are with you today.

Paix !! Symora

Changing thoughts, changing feelings. Good advice. -gw

Posted via email from Baha'i Views

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